All The Things You Don't Want to Say

by Dependence



released May 19, 2013



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Dependence Fresno, California

California-based post hardcore

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Track Name: Twines

I still wear the bracelet,
The one you made and gave to me,
When you were inspired by us,
I still wear it to remember that time, when you were inspired by me.

Though those moments are gone,
And so are you,
Somehow you will last,
somehow you will always be there,
not only as a memory but as a feeling,
and not only as a feeling, but as a lesson
Learned or not, I still wear it whether I should or not.

Though the feeling left,
It's still here,
And so is the feeling that built it.
Just a remnant

How what was once alive in you,
Could produce such a treasure,
Makes one wonder, where did it go?
What storms couldn't it weather?

How love built my treasure,
I still wear it to remember
And I wonder if ever,
if the love that built my treasure,
Is still there?
Or will it ever be there, again, will it ever?

The twines that held it together,
Were tied knots that weren't meant to last forever,
They came undone,

The twines that held us together,
We're tied in knots that weren't meant to last forever,
We came undone.

Together, we thought we would weather,
But your storm said never.
And together forever, became undone,
It became undone forever.

(Bonus verses.)
But I still remember,
I wear it still,
To remember
That it unties sometimes,
It unties,
Just to remind me that sometimes love dies.
That not all ties can withstand dark skies.

Il remember forever, that it unties,
That it dies.
Track Name: Loans
Didn't I tell you in the beginning?
That with you, I could make our life's worth living?
I told you, no I warned you of how much I cared,
That my love was a curse, seldom shared.

If you, I became invested,
I knew right then, in the end I'd be bested.

For the problem was not of my heart.
It would never have been that part.
It was of your own.
I wished your love wouldn't have been but a loan.

It was not of my heart,
It was of your own,
Yours was just a loan.

But that's okay,
Because this has happened before
And not much has changed
It's all the same.
Its all the same.
Not much has changed,
It's all the same.

But il go,
And let the memories of you,
Gnaw at my bones.
And then,

When I'm all but hollow,
And there's nothing left of me to follow

I will try again.
I will try again,
When I'm all but hollow,
And there's nothing left of me to follow,
I will try again,
And when the memories of you
Have dissolved my bones,
My skin will no longer have a stable home,
And then my flesh will resemble my soul.
A shell hollow, and all alone
Track Name: Better Homes
Better homes.

Trying to find a substance,
trying to find a meaning,
but everything is empty

Sometimes I wonder,
Why I even try,
Because everything I do,
Just won't come out right,

It just won't come out right,
Why oh why won't it come out right

I'm still searching for the truth,
And it's still hiding from me,
I thought I found it in you,
But my heart was lying,

I thought you could make yourself at home,
In my heart,
But its just another time,
Where il be forced
to restart,
To move along,
To find a better home,
But until then I will continue to roam
Track Name: The New Plain
The New Plain

Who am I addressing now?
It seems as though I'm only ever talking to myself

The mirrors there, but I don't see my face anywhere.
No matter how straight I stare

Even when there's nothing there,
Still talking like its everywhere.

I'm just stuck, on everything,
Everything that I let get to me.

Its controllable, but
It just slips and rolls,
All over these fingers,
And these clothes

Until its stains,
Become the new plain,
And not even the rain,
Can make it change.

What should have been an itch,
Became a rash
Im just living in whatever hit me last.

Letting the blow to the floor,
Keep me from moving anywhere,
Or keep me from moving anymore

Just letting the blow to the floor,
Keep me from moving anywhere and anymore

Painting a mural on myself
Not too smooth, not too rough.
It's the perfect landscape,
For what I can't let go of
Track Name: Oval Eyes
A spoken word confession, a ranty half poem that I made when starting to think about the album, my feelings/thoughts. Inspired to do so by Dalton Smith.

Yeah, it's been 8 years. It's been 9 years, and it hasn't changed.
God never took back his choice, and I still only sometimes dream and imagine your voice. It's been 9 years, and it's still the same.
And I might as well have just taken pictures to document the moment, because everything in my head does seem to blacken. Though, I feel like I did take pictures, all I can see are flashes and snapshots. But I must have set them on fire, because they are dark, crunched up, and falling apart. They're just withering away with the passing of days.

They say everything gets easier with time.

Does it? Or do you just forget?

Though, I don't wear it on my arms, it's there, somewhere under the denim, the cotton, and 9/10 some shade of blue. No matter the color, it's there, it's true.

It's flame doesn't burn the same as it did, but there are embers that I feel ignite and fight to burn through my skin, when I try to hide behind those walls that I built up since then. They are so thin. But my walls have always been strongest when I try to ignore what they are there for. When I try to just act like there's nothing there, that "I'm fine, that I've moved on." I'm just hiding behind the quotations.
The fact is that I don't think I can really handle what happens the right way, and that I never really could.
My dad told me a story when it happened. I didn't remember saying this, what a coincidence.
He said son, why aren't you crying anymore? It's okay to be sad.
Meanwhile I'm just holding a blank face, tear stains still on my face.
I guess he must have seen a struggle.
I said, I hid it.
Where did you hide it?
Deep inside. (Gesturing to my chest.)
Who taught you to do that?
I did it all by myself.
And He said I was smiling. Smiling at the accomplishment.
And I look back, on this story, at a child I don't recognize, and I realize that maybe I have just been doing that my whole life.

I think I do it and don't even know it.

I have done it with all the girls in my life.
They would walk right in and walk right out, and somehow I was the only one left without.
I never really let go, I move on, but in the sense that I have to and that I have no choice. My feelings never fade, they just get old with age and those damn passing of days until they
cant remember even their own face.
But, I don't regret anything. I don't want to take back the moments with them, I still love them or I remember exactly how it felt when I did, and I sometimes find myself wishing that the part of me in them wasnt dead, that if anything, my actions would have killed it, and not just the thoughts in their head. The thoughts the were born in the passings of days.

and I don't want to take back anything from with my brother. Or anything that happened between my father or my mother for that matter. I've become who I am because of them.
And as for God, I strayed from my walk, we seldom even talk.
I don't know whether he is there, if he is anywhere,
If he was ever there, of it was all just just in my head. An echo bounding back to me, all the reverbs of my wants and fears of is and has to be.
Sometimes I want to go back, to believe. I want to go back to that chapter in my life where I really felt something. Completely content and nothing could put a damper on my day, I wish I still saw the world that way.
I don't know, I've just been rambling, but I guess this is just me confessing. No need for you to go off guessing or anything, this is me and this is everything.
Track Name: These Weary Hands
These Weary Hands
My hands just can't seem to work,
I can't block the sun,
There's always that lift away that sifts its way through the cracks,
I can't pick anything up,
Without it slipping from my grasp,
it just falls into the tall grass.

And I can't hold your hands in mine,
And I can't share your stare,
Not at this time,

Because my blood doesn't pump well enough,
Just a heart not strong enough,
From the last time, someone dropped mine.

Finger clasps,
Weary and weathered,
They can barely lock together.

Not fit as a home,
Better just find better.
Better find another

(Bonus verses)
Tired of this skin overgrown,
Tired of dealing with these bones, being forced to roam,
Being overgrown,
Tired of moving on from home to home.
Track Name: Things I Can't See
Things I can't see

Want to be happy,
Want to stop just existing,
Want to find that air worth breathing,
Just want to find that something,
That makes life worth living.

the current to liven the sails,
The hammer to pull out all these damn nails.

Because nothing is worth it.
Without something behind it.

A life without love isn't a life worth living.
Lungs with no room for breathing
But I still have time, i think il keep on waiting.

Maybe one day, it'll change,
Maybe one day this hole won't become my grave
But the plot is dug and there's a stone that bares a name,
It looks like mine, but I'm too scared, in my shame,
To read the inscription etched within its frame.

Maybe someone someday will grow fond of me,
But you know,
that's not really something that I can see.

I'm almost to where I'm going,
And when I'm home,
Il be finally free,
And maybe after everything il finally be able to get some sleep

When I close my eyes,
And I'm no longer forced see,
I can forget about the day,
And everything that has to be,

And when I wake up in the morning,
Maybe this time il like what I see,
Maybe il enjoy what has to be,
Il just have to wait and see

And when I wake up in the morning,
maybe this time il like what I see,
Maybe il enjoy what has to be.